Showing posts tagged twilight

imaginarycircus:

jennlferlawrence:

frostingpeetaswounds:

i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is wrong”

the twilight one is like abstract poetry

They all kind of read like weird little stories in and of themselves. HG is about an amnesia victim trying to recall the facts people have told her about herself, but which she doesn’t remember. Twilight is a love story about two mimes. And Harry Potter is the tragic story of boy whom absolutely nothing happens to.

the harry potter one is like waiting for godot. (maybe “waiting for godric gryffindor”?)

imaginarycircus:

jennlferlawrence:

frostingpeetaswounds:

i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is wrong”

the twilight one is like abstract poetry

They all kind of read like weird little stories in and of themselves. HG is about an amnesia victim trying to recall the facts people have told her about herself, but which she doesn’t remember. Twilight is a love story about two mimes. And Harry Potter is the tragic story of boy whom absolutely nothing happens to.

the harry potter one is like waiting for godot. (maybe “waiting for godric gryffindor”?)

mildlyautisticsuperdetectives:

some-timey-wimey-stuff:

simplylivetolive:

So…. This.

truth

THIS. I have repeatedly said that if Twilight had been about Alice and Jasper, I would have loved it.

Jasper’s backstory is hella racist, but other than that, yep. I always wondered about Alice.

mildlyautisticsuperdetectives:

some-timey-wimey-stuff:

simplylivetolive:

So…. This.

truth

THIS. I have repeatedly said that if Twilight had been about Alice and Jasper, I would have loved it.

Jasper’s backstory is hella racist, but other than that, yep. I always wondered about Alice.

policecallsnogbox:

youdtearthiscanvasskinapart:

thatcrazywhoviangirl:

ihopesomethingeatsyuu:

sophienorthcott:

Charlie is the best thing about Twilight 

Charlie is the only good thing about Twilight

Charlie is the only logical one in Twilight

Petition for Charlie to play a hunter on supernatural

Petition signed

Charlie is pretty great in the movies but remember that time when his daughter literally broke her hand because some dude kissed her when she didn’t want him to and he was like “U GO DUDE” and laughed

[TW: Sexual Assault]

His lips crushed mine, stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly, his other hand gripping tight around the back of my neck, making escape impossible. I shoved against his chest with all my strength, but he didn’t even seem to notice. His mouth was soft, despite the anger, his lips molding to mine in a warm, unfamiliar way.

I grabbed at his face, trying to push it away, failing again. He seemed to notice this time, though, and it aggravated him. His lips forced mine open, and I could feel his hot breath in my mouth.

Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side, and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn’t fight, didn’t feel… just waited for him to stop.

Twilight: Eclipse p. 331 (Bella and Jacob’s first kiss)

This is rape culture.

Young women are taught to think of this passage - which describes sexual assault - as erotic. Young men are taught to force their will on young women, regardless of any (non)verbal cues, because sex is conquest and women are objects - not something to be done between two consenting individuals because it’s pleasurable for both people.
The most frightening thing about this excerpt is that many survivors of sexual assault who have disclosed to me describe stories that sound exactly like this one.

(via profeministbro)

Vomiting everywhere

(via arilyn-anson Well shit, i didn’t know it was this bad. Wow. (via fuckthacistem)

The lines before that:

    He still had my chin—his fingers holding too tight, till it hurt—and I saw the resolve form abruptly in his eyes.
    “N—-” I started to object, but it was too late.

And after he assaulted her she punched him in the face but due to his “super human strength” she broke her hand, said “Don’t touch me!” and then:

    “Just let me drive you home,” Jacob insisted. Unbelievably, he had the nerve to wrap his arm around my waist.

    I jerked away from him.

And then:

    When he got in the driver’s side, he was whistling.

AND THEN while he was driving:

    “…There is so much I can give you that he can’t. I’ll bet he couldn’t even kiss you like that—-because he would hurt you. I would never, never hurt you, Bella.”

    I held up my injured hand.

    He sighed. “That wasn’t my fault. You should have known better.”

And then:

    He grinned over at me. “You kissed me back.”

    I gasped, unthinkingly balling my hands up into fists again, hissing when my broken hand reacted.

    “Are you okay?” he asked. 

     “I did not.”

    “I think I can tell the difference.”

    “Obviously you can’t——that was not kissing back, that was trying to get you the hell off me, you idiot.”

    He laughed a low, throaty laugh. “Touchy. Almost overly defensive, I would say.

    I took a deep breath. There was no point in arguing with him; he would twist anything I said.

Then when she gets home, to where her father, Charlie, the police officer, is:

    “Why did she hit you?”

    “Because I kissed her,” Jacob said, unashamed.

    “Good for you, kid,” Charlie congratulated him.

(via redefiningbodyimage)

cleolinda:

“Millions of Twilight fans out there just cannot wait to see this. It’s almost heartbreaking because they don’t want it to be over. It’s a little bittersweet, isn’t it?” (x)
(Answer: “Umm. FOR THEM!”)

When is his long international nightmare contractually over? Monday after the box office numbers come in? Is there a Sparkle Protection Program he can go into? RUN, TAKE ONLY THE VODKA, KEEP RUNNING AND DON’T LOOK BACK

“If this all ends with Angel ripping the baby out of Darla’s womb with his teeth and they name it ‘Cordesley’ or something and Gunn falls in love with it then I am so out of this show.”
“Almost sort of liked it.”

EDWARD [*sob*]: I’ve killed her with my virile hell-seed!

JACOB: WHY WON’T ANYONE TAKE IT OUT OF HER?!

CARLISLE: Well, we were going to, but then Bella summoned the Babytron 3000.

ROSALIE: **BABIES ARE MY PRIME DIRECTIVE**

“Back again is Bella’s best friend Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), who you recall is now a shape-shifter who turns into a wolf. Enraged by Bella’s pregnancy, he summons his pack. The wolves, it must be said, are underwhelming as a pack. They become huge ferocious beasts with sharp fangs, and hurtle at top speed through the forest, and… well, that’s about it. They’re always hurtling somewhere. Hurtle, hurtle.”

Roger Ebert, whose movie reviews I read with rapture and adoration. (via ouyangdan)

That “hurtle, hurtle” bit is the best part. Ebert is an excellent human being.

“And don’t worry, Twiharders, Bill Condon does absolutely nothing to elevate the quality of this material, so you don’t need to imagine that an acclaimed director was somehow able to change the ridiculous storytelling of Stephenie Meyer and make it passable for normal human consumption. It is still the terrible mess that she created, now with bonus terrible acting.”
“We get shots of the smiling guests. Many are familiar from the previous movies, but others on both sides of the aisle are new to us. They fascinated me. What were they thinking? How many knew Bella was marrying a vampire? Were they cool with that? Did anyone wonder why Edward apparently possessed not a single relative older than himself?”
mattie:

The most intense form of pretentious dishevelment I’ve ever seen in my life.

I’m dying from these

mattie:

The most intense form of pretentious dishevelment I’ve ever seen in my life.

I’m dying from these

“The key thing Condon promises: the last half hour of Breaking Dawn part 1 is a full-on horror movie, from the wolf attack to the birth scene. It won’t feel like a shmoopy romance, but a full-bore horror film. “Everything’s really coming at you from all sides in the last 30 minutes of this movie.””