OK SO EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT GLASGOW YOU WILL KNOW FROM THIS STATUE
THIS MY FRIENDS IS THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON STATUE IN ROYAL EXCHANGE SQUARE IN GLASGOW AND YES HE HAS A TRAFFIC CONE ON HIS HEAD
NOW LET ME TELL YOU I HAVE LIVED IN GLASGOW FOR 18 AND A HALF YEARS AND NOT ONCE HAVE I SEEN THIS MAN WITHOUT A CONE ON HIS HEAD
IT HAS BEEN REMOVED SO MANY TIMES BY THE COUNCIL BUT SOMEHOW IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO GET BACK UP THERE AND ITS NOT A SMALL STATUE ITS PRETTY FUCKING BIG SO WHOEVER KEEPS ON PUTTING UP THERE IS A DETERMINED WEE FUCKER
IT HAS BECOME A NATIONAL SYMBOL FOR GLASGOW CAUSE ITS JUST THE EPITOME OF GLASWEGIAN HUMOUR AND THEY EVEN PAINTED THE CONE FUCKING GOLD FOR THE OLYMPICS
AND A FEW MONTHS AGO THE COUNCIL SAID THEY WERE GOING TO RAISE UP THE STATUE SO PEOPLE COULDNT PUT THE CONE ON AND LET ME TELL YOU IT WAS FUCKING PANDAEMONIUM ABOUT GLASGOW IT WAS AS IF WORLD WAR THREE HAD BROKEN OUT THERE WERE FACEBOOK PAGES AND PROTESTS AND PETITIONS AND ALL SORTS TO KEEP THE CONE ON
SO LONG AND SHORT OF IT IS THAT THIS STUPID STATUE AND ITS STUPID CONE IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SCOTS IN PARTICULAR GLASWEGIANS CAUSE WE CANT DECIDE WHETHER WE WANT TO RULE OUR OWN COUNTRY OR NOT BUT IF YOU FUCKING DARE TRY TO TAKE THE CONE OFF THE DUKE OF WELLINGTONS HEAD THERE WILL BE A NATION WIDE OUTRAGE AND GLASGOWS OWN VERSION OF LES MIS WILL HAPPEN I AINT FUCKING KIDDIN
I once saw it without the cone on its head. It was very distressing.
Glasgow is a land of proud and noble people
the duke is very fashionable:
Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken. The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates. While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.
The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.
copperbadge, can you convince someone to draw Steve in the American uniform from the Winter Olympics?
Why do you hate Steve Rogers? Why do you wish him such harm? Are you a supervillain?
I’ve learned in my years in fandom that I can rarely convince a fanartist to do anything. They are driven by the muse.
That is why I developed superior photoshop skills.
Though let’s be real…we all know what we really want to see.
“And at that point, just when nobody expects the Tehlin Inquisition, in they come and denounce Skarpi for heresy and intimidate the innkeeper.”